After school, I help students prepare for an upcoming English competition. We've been meeting for about a month already, so I've gotten to know these students pretty well, and they've gotten really comfortable speaking around me. So sometimes they say some really strange or funny things. Here's just a few:

Mi: Want to see my boyfriend?
Lauren: *somewhat confused and surprised, as she is really shy and quiet* Okay?
Mi: *pulls out her tennis racket* This is my boyfriend! He is very kind. We are always together.

Or this conversation, which was all English, and somehow went on for 5 minutes. Note that these are all really sweet, 2nd year girls. And both K and A are on the kendo team.
Mi: What would be a better pet, a lion or a gorilla?
A: A lion!
Ma: Me too! He could eat people!
A: Like K!
K: No!
A: K tastes delicious!
Ma: Oh really?
A: Yes! Her meat is delicious! I ate her last summer.
K: No no no!
Ma: How about you, A?
A: My meat is not so delicious. K's meat is delicious. Let's eat K.
K: No no no! Don't eat me!

Some kids in my classes often forget that I can understand most of what they're saying.
*While waiting for class to begin, in Japanese*
Snotty 1st year: This sucks. I hate English.
Mr. C: That's too bad.
S1Y: I don't wanna do this.
Mr. C: You know Lauren can understand you right?
S1Y: Eh?! Well, she's ok, then. She's a teacher after all, so...

There's also the same group of 3rd years that come clean the teachers' room everyday, so they get to know me a little bit, too, since I help. For the first few weeks or so, I always got the same question (from everyone, though this kid had more chances to ask since I saw him so often). It became something of a game.

Ka (in Japanese): Are you married?
Lauren: (in English): Can't say, it's a secret. :)
Ka: Secret?! Always the same answer! Always 'secret, secret, secret'!
Another student (in Japanese): Well you always ask the same question, stupid!"